Delving into the weirdness.

I'm going to tell about the other weirdness that happened, actually on Friday. 

Okay, so everyone knows the sitch:  Marissa's dad and I divorced many moons ago, he married another woman and lived happily ever after being an asshat and yadda yadda yadda. 

So.  On Friday I received an e-mail from the Mrs. (up north).  My heart started pounding when I noticed how long this e-mail was, but frankly I figured it was in response to that e-mail that I sent him before Marissa went up north (the one where I told him off, etc.), so I just prepared myself to get "told" by this chick in this e-mail.

WRONG.  Um.  Yeah, the Mrs. wrote and told me that R (my ex) left her for his mistress, that he and his mistress and his mistress's daughter are living in this house that they're renting, that she's concerned about Marissa because the mistress's daughter is very aggressive and pushy, and that she's writing to tell me all this because she's *pretty* sure I have no idea what's going on up there and the Mrs. is worried about Marissa.

I swear to GOD I couldn't breathe.  I mean, yes our lives are full of drama 'n crap, but this?  THIS is Jerry Springer to the core.  And the Mrs. was right, R hadn't told me that ANY of this was going on.  As far as Bryan and I knew, the Mrs. was living in this rented house with R, and that the mistress was really just their roommate.

The weirder thing is that I've told Bryan for some time that I thought R was cheating on the Mrs.  Just a feeling I've had.... but to have it validated so hugely?  I'm so getting my own 900 number.

Anyway, we talked to the Mrs. via telephone for about an hour and a half.  One of the things that I think was so hard for her to grasp was that this man, her husband, is only now showing his true colors.  I've known he was like this for years and years, but she's only now discovering his real nature.  It's hard for her to deal with, and I can't even IMAGINE how hard it must've been for her to write that e-mail to me.  I mean, confessing to the ex-wife that your husband has been having an affair and your marriage has fallen apart?  Not exactly on the list of fun things to do on a Friday.  That took some serious balls, and I'm really thankful that she told me what was going on.

Marissa is definitely displaying some behaviors that I would've been hard pressed to explain if the Mrs. hadn't enlightened me.  Marissa is confused about the situation up north, she's anxious, and she's clingy.  We have a very open household and talk about a lot of things, but I can tell she's not ready yet to talk about what happened up north.  It's hard for her to sort through her feelings, and I can't say as I blame her one bit.  It's hard to sort through MY feelings about it, and I'm not the one that was just living through it for 3 weeks.

I could go on and on about it, but I won't.  Things have been pretty crazy around here with Bryan going back to school, and picking Marissa up from her visit, getting a new car, getting ready for back to school on Thursday, and us looking for a new place to live, etc. 

I haven't checked my horoscope lately, but I'm sure if I did it would say, "Prepare for the WEIRDNESS."

Comments

[Vanessa_AR]

That was a difficult thing for the Mrs. to do: to admit to YOU that all this was going on. Thank goodness she did, though, for Marissa's sake. I was once in a similar situation. It's not good. Hope Marissa is alright.

[Nicole]

Wow. She does have some serious balls. How unselfish of her to keep you in the (very twisted) loop, all for Marissa's sake. Marissa is a smart kid with supportive parents (you and Bryan, I mean!) and she'll work through it.

Also, doesn't it seem like weirdness always comes in bulk? Like somehow you can only buy weirdness at Costco in some super quadruple pack, even though you only really need one pack of weirdness to keep things interesting.

[fuzzypeach]

That's nuts. I'm glad she told you what was going on. Poor Marissa, having to deal with that crap.

[solistella]

Not to be all in your bidness, but can you change his custody agreement over this? Florida law requires parents to notify the other and the courts, in writing, when they move. I think it's because of child support, but given the circumstances of his marriage and that he never told you he moved, you may be able to get it changed even if it's temporary.

And you know the snarky bit in me that loves you awful hopes he has somehow fucked up his chances for changing custody as well as his marriage. Who knows, maybe since this chick has a daughter he'll lose interest in attending any future court dates. I think I have a friend who does hexes that can pretty much guarantee it. Can the Mrs. send me a lock of his hair and one of his left shoes?

Teehee.

[Daph]

He didn't notify us *before* he moved, but he did notify us that he HAD moved before Marissa went up there....... does that make any sense? He's done quite a few legally questionable things (like changing her daycare provider and not giving us the new daycare provider's info), and yes, some very mean and selfish parts of me are hoping he's going to drop the whole custody/visitation thing. I'm leaving it kind of open-ended for now.... he doesn't know that I know, and I'm trying to be as unbiased as possible so that Marissa doesn't feel torn or disloyal to her dad.

It's a weird, sick, and twisted situation, and the bottom line is it shows his lack of communication that something so HUGE could happen, something that would obviously impact Marissa's life, and he doesn't *think* to mention anything to us. He is an asshat, through and through.

I'm all over the lock of hair and the left shoe thing. Or I could one up ya and do a scalping and amputate his left foot...

[Charmaine]

That IS weird, but what goes around comes around, right? I never have totally understood why women who have affairs with married men, or vice versa, think that they won't turn around and do it again, and again, and again.

I also hope that this may change custody issue for your family's sake. My biological father was out of the picture when I was 8 and my mom re-married, and I can't even begin to explain how much of a difference that made in my life -- I no longer had to go between two houses and I think he knew, somewhere deep inside that it would be better for me.

[Cara]

Whoa that is weird coming from a wife to the ex. You are such a good mama, too bad it sounds like we can't say the same for asshat papa

[Ginger]

Dammmmmnnnnnn girl. This is super funk. I don't know what to say, but I do hope it makes him step off since now he has someone else's child to play with (and I don't mean that in a pervy way, I mean that in a "he's a freaking juvenile" way).



PS Nicole just about mede me pee myself with this: "Also, doesn't it seem like weirdness always comes in bulk? Like somehow you can only buy weirdness at Costco in some super quadruple pack, even though you only really need one pack of weirdness to keep things interesting."

[Di]

Very difficult thing for Mrs. to do. I'm so glad she told you though! Nice of R to try to keep everything on the down low when it's involving your daughter! Meh.