Bean.

Hi, little bean.  I feel you in there, moving about, poking me and prodding me, and doing your tae-kwon-do moves.

You're already a night-owl (like your daddy) and you love yellow cupcakes and Italian chicken (like your oldest sister).  What else are you going to like? 

I have to say, little bean, that you were quite a surprise to me.  I think I knew you were there before I *knew* you were there.  I will never forget the night that I found out I was pregnant with you.

I had taken your oldest sister to karate, and my mind was occupied with a thousand things.  Your daddy and I were going away that weekend to be married, and I was mentally checking off all the things we still had to do.  I was driving home with your sisters, and I still don't know what made me make that right hand turn into the parking lot of WalMart.  I don't know what made me go straight to the pregnancy tests and pick one up.  I had a baby in one arm, and a 6-year old by the hand, and I thought, "What am I doing?"

I bought that test, and marched straight into the bathroom.  Marissa held Phoebe while I peed on the stick, and I couldn't even look at the test.  I finally looked at the stick, and when it read positive I didn't believe it.  I put the test back in the box, put the box back in the bag, and put the bag at the bottom of my purse.

I will tell you, little bean, that I cried when I found out that I was pregnant.  Not because I didn't want you, but because I was scared.

I was scared that your younger sister wouldn't be old enough for me to give you both the attention that you need and deserve.  I was scared that I wouldn't be a good mommy to three kids.  I was scared that it was too soon to have another baby.

But, I have to say that I think your timing is perfect.  I think it was fate that brought you here, to us, at this time.  No one is more excited than I am to meet you.  We still have a ways to go before we can hold you, but you are already a very loved little person.

March 24th, 2005

May 19th, 2005

August 11th, 2005

Comments

[Andrea]

I'm looking forward to "meeting" you, little bean. :)

[Vanessa_AR]

That was really sweet. When is your due date?Just think, one day, your little one will be able to read this and realize how great his/her mama is!

[fuzzypeach]

Yes, when are you due? Sometime around the new year?

You are looking gorgeous, your belly is beautiful! And how the hay are you so slender after two babes? Lucky woman;)

[beautifulmess]

what a cute little belly you have. your little bean is so lucky to have you as a mama.

[Helen]

Wow... That brought a tear to my eye. You should never worry about being a good Mama, you sound like the best!

[christina]

I've been reading your site off & on for about a month now, and perhaps due to constant distraction (my 6 month old Bean), I had no idea you were pregnant. Wow! Congrats!! You should also know that last night I was thinking about how I wanted to learn how to knit this winter to make a cool hat for my little guy--and I thought you and your infinite craftiness right away. Got any pointers for me?

Your kids are terribly lucky to have such a fun, wacky, creative mama!! And I can guarantee they won't be teased when they wear hats you crochet them!!! My little guy (who we really do call Bean, by the way, probably more than we call him his given name!) probably won't be as lucky. With my skills (or total lack thereof, anything I make will probably turn out floppy and compltely irregular with lots of dropped stiches.

How did you get to be so crafty?! And funny. Your posts crack me up. Thanks for sharing your life.

[Ginger]

totally love you.

and the bean.

and those other kids you made.

[kb]

I'm very Happy and excited for you guys. You'll make a wonderful mama of three, I have no doubt.

[Charmaine]

I echo what everyone else said but want to add -- what a freakin' cute little belly you have now! Congrats mama!

[Nicole]

*Awwwww* So sweet.

And sister, I think you are going to be needing some of those maternity clothes you talked about making - and soon!

[Caroline]

I've been a long time reader and I just wanted to say how happy and excited I am for you. You'll be a wonderful mother to baby #3.

[pretendingsanity]

sniff, you made me cry a little. You great momma you.

[Angela10angel]

*sniffle* that was SO...ugh. You're so lucky. Anyhow, you are realllly showing now! You look adorable! I'm gonna call you...right now.

[Antonia]

Belly pictures. Finally! And they're awesome.

[Candice]

OOHH! look at the baby belly!

[Kristen]

Your belly is so cute! Your new little bean is so lucky to have a mommy like you!

[Di]

Very sweet :)

I didn't know you were that far along for some reason! This is a great thing to have to show your kids when they're older.

[krystyn]

That is the luckiest bean in the whole wide world. You are one amazing woman.

[rubyjade]

Love the belly pics! Geez time is going by fast. I keep having hunches about a girl. Don't know why, maybe because you already have two. Who knows. Beautiful post.

[Marita]

Great belly. Mine is more football than cute-round. We can support each others sanity with little ones close in age. Have you figured out a due date yet? I think I will be eating turkey in the hospital, dammit. Great post to reflect back on years down the road.