Bean.

Hi, little bean.  I feel you in there, moving about, poking me and prodding me, and doing your tae-kwon-do moves.

You're already a night-owl (like your daddy) and you love yellow cupcakes and Italian chicken (like your oldest sister).  What else are you going to like? 

I have to say, little bean, that you were quite a surprise to me.  I think I knew you were there before I *knew* you were there.  I will never forget the night that I found out I was pregnant with you.

I had taken your oldest sister to karate, and my mind was occupied with a thousand things.  Your daddy and I were going away that weekend to be married, and I was mentally checking off all the things we still had to do.  I was driving home with your sisters, and I still don't know what made me make that right hand turn into the parking lot of WalMart.  I don't know what made me go straight to the pregnancy tests and pick one up.  I had a baby in one arm, and a 6-year old by the hand, and I thought, "What am I doing?"

I bought that test, and marched straight into the bathroom.  Marissa held Phoebe while I peed on the stick, and I couldn't even look at the test.  I finally looked at the stick, and when it read positive I didn't believe it.  I put the test back in the box, put the box back in the bag, and put the bag at the bottom of my purse.

I will tell you, little bean, that I cried when I found out that I was pregnant.  Not because I didn't want you, but because I was scared.

I was scared that your younger sister wouldn't be old enough for me to give you both the attention that you need and deserve.  I was scared that I wouldn't be a good mommy to three kids.  I was scared that it was too soon to have another baby.

But, I have to say that I think your timing is perfect.  I think it was fate that brought you here, to us, at this time.  No one is more excited than I am to meet you.  We still have a ways to go before we can hold you, but you are already a very loved little person.

March 24th, 2005

May 19th, 2005

August 11th, 2005

Comments

[kelli]

Your belly is adorable! What a sweet post that was. You will be a good mother of three. Any normal momma questions herself. In fact I just asked myself. Will I be a good mother to three, when the time comes? I hope so:0) Your so right about timing too. If it wasn't perfect , it wouldn't have happened:0)

[Penny]

You are such a great mom and you will continue to be such a great mom!! I hope I can meet you one day. You and your little bean and the whole rest of your wonderful family!

[elizabeth]

look at that gorgeous pregnant belly! i luv, luv pregnant bellies...if i was there right now i'd be begging to feel lil bean kick.

i am so happy for you guys :)