Totally random.

I've been writing post after post, and not publishing them.  I feel this insane (self-imposed) pressure to write meaningful, thought provoking, or funny and witty posts.

Sometimes I just don't feel very thought provoking, or funny and witty.

Sometimes, I just have a migraine and don't feel like doing much of anything.  Sometimes I want to blog about the mundane details, but I don't want to come across as bitchy or whining or complaining all the time (who wants to read a downer blog?).  Sometimes I have to remind myself that I don't have to be the best at everything.  I don't have to be the best seamstress, or the best blogger, or the best person in the whole world.

On the online forum that I visit most frequently, a woman started a thread where everyone listed what they're most proud of for the day, week, month, whatever.  She said that women don't really do that.... say what it is they're proud of themselves for doing, and that we *should* do it. 

The last reply on that thread was a woman who was proud of herself for keeping it together during her son's meltdowns, and for handling him with love, even though she was frustrated.  It brought tears to my eyes because I'm having similar issues right now with Phoebe, and I can totally relate.

Another woman had a signature that really resonated with me.  It's a picture of her two kids, jumping off of a rock against a beautiful sky, and underneath the picture is a quote from the Dalai Lama:

"My religion is very simple.  My religion is kindness."

Reading that thread about the woman and her son, and then seeing the picture with the quote really touched me.

I don't even really know what I'm trying to say.  I guess I just don't have very much focus or motivation lately, and I need to get it back.  I just need to be comfortable being me, being mediocre at most things, and learning to accept that.  I need to have a little more love, and a little more kindness, and a little more patience.  I need to be proud of myself for something.

Comments

[Elaine]

I write for myself and my girls. Nobody else. It's nice that other people read and give me positive input, but I don't write for those people. And I think everyone would agree that that's OK. Write if and when you want. We'll say nice things even of you write dribble. That's what happens when people love you.

MWAH!

[Elaine]

PS I'm sorry things have been challenging lately. Let me know if I can help!

[Carol]

"I need to have a little more love, and a little more kindness, and a little more patience. I need to be proud of myself for something."

Wow. Those words really hit home for me right now, Christa. Thanks. I think I'll print them out and post them around my house, just to remind myself that I too need those things.

XOXO

[Mama C-ta]

Yet another inspirational post from the awesome Daphne_Blue. I need to really give myself some love too.

[Nicole]

I don't need more patience. I just need shit to happen NOW.

Kidding, of course.

Write whatevah. Seriously. You can turn the most random things into hilarious stories. Lovin' it!

[rubyjade]

I love reading your posts, weather they be random every day stuff you might think is boring, or hilarious stories about the girls. I completly feel the same way right now with my kids. The other day I completly lost it on Jared. Sometimes i just don't have the energy to be a "good mom" know what I mean? I just have to take things day by day, and hope to god I can hold it together while Jade screams at the top of her lungs for 20 min. straight. You're doing the best you can, and by looking at your kids, how well behaved they are, smart,witty, creative...says alot a about you as a parent. I think most of us strive to raise kids like you have. You're doing great.

[Charmaine]

I can't agree more with Elaine. It's about coming to terms with why you write and being okay with those reasons. And yes, we'll think you're awsome even if you write about tantrums and poop and laundry. Or all three at the same time. :)

[Amy]

yes... i'm SO feelin' where you are...

[Candice]

Can't say much about being incognito. I've been internet absent too.

[Teri]

Big hug! I hear ya, girl...I'm pretty down lately and my writing reflects it. But those people who ONLY write upbeat, profound shit...you have to ask: are they for real? It kind of annoys me, actually!

Love the "what are you proud of this week" idea. I'm gonna do that. xo